Habits, habits, habits – or just pure luck?

Have you ever met a person who’s always happy, smiling, ready to laugh and get things going? They’re active in their lives and seem to always be doing amazing things?

I’ve met plenty of people like that and have always envied them. This is because I’ve always been emotional and sensitive, often feeling “the weight of the world” on my shoulders.

The interesting part about this is, I used to think that people like that were born that way – with a happy-go-lucky, laid-back attitude and nature (and maybe some are). But I never considered that maybe their upbringing, or they themselves, had developed positive habits in order to maximize their levels of happiness.

Maybe there’s no such thing as a happy person, per se. Maybe we are all products of our habits and actions. The people we choose to surround ourselves with, the ways in which we choose to spend our time, what we choose to listen to and watch. Not to mention the way we choose to do things, even little things like getting out of the bed in the morning.

Do we snooze and stall getting up? Do we spring up excited to start the day? Do we wallow in our potential morning-depression? Do we start to exercise? Do we read a book? Do we stay stuck in social media? Do we read emails? Do we read the news?

Can we change?

Maybe everything can be developed. Maybe everything can be fixed. Maybe every little thing can really be changed.

Although I’m a big believer in the impossible I now realize I’ve still had limiting beliefs around what’s inherent in me. That I’m just a sensitive person who feels a lot. That oh well, that’s my role in this world.

Maybe it’s just too damn easy to let ourselves believe there are certain things in our lives and within us that are simply out of our control.

But what if it weren’t so?

What if we could change everything?

What if everything we do, say, feel and think would be in our control?

What if all the tiniest habits we have could be changed?

What would you change?

How do you want to be?

How do you want to feel?

These are the questions we need to ask ourselves. And more importantly these are the questions we need to answer.

Because only when we have a destination, can we figure out a way to get there. 

—

This blog post was prompted by a moment in the Helsinki city bus as I sat down thinking about my week. I was flying high all week last week – I had amazing, deep connections with people every day of the week. And it continued to blow my mind how amazing people are.

At the core of human happiness, for me, are true, deep and real connections with people.

So, I was sitting there thinking about how much these connections had uplifted my mood and how incredibly blessed I was feeling. It’s not a feeling I usually feel every day, all the time. And it led me to think about other days in my life when I’m not flying so high, when my mood might actually be quite low.

And then the question became, how can I generate those emotions when it’s just me and I’m not feeling so good. When perhaps my habits weigh me down, when my choices allow only for momentary gain but end up in long-term ill-being.

Our habits begin to play a gigantic role in our lives on those days when we are feeling less than. Our brain attempts to preserve energy so it defaults to already-formed habits when we are feeling low. In order for us to have a better chance of feeling good on a day-to-day basis, we need to form healthy and positive habits that support us even when we are down.

What a simple and beautiful revelation I had sitting in the city bus!

What small change are you going to make?

Thank you for reading.

With so much love, respect and warm hugs,
Erika

Studio Metsä Year in Review: 2017

The year 2017 has been one of the most tumultuous of my adult life.

The year of change. 

So let’s review.

It was the first full year of Studio Metsä under the concept of photographing women who don’t believe they’re photogenic.

With that came many amazing people to my life that continue to inspire and challenge me (in the best possible way) to this day. Clients that turned into friends. Clients that have touched my heart and soul with their experiences, wisdom and ways of seeing the world.

It’s safe to say that Studio Metsä has the absolute best, most open, optimistic and heart-warming clients ever!

People who are willing to go deep and open their hearts to someone they’ve just met.
People who trust and embrace the world and its people.
People who take responsibility for themselves, their emotions, well-being and growth.
People who want to work for who they want to be.

I’m honoured and blessed to be able to associate with people like that.

This year has at its absolute best been a year of true connection. Connection that goes from heart to heart. Connection that strips us bare, that leaves nothing to hide behind. Connection that brings out our humanity and vulnerability.

Connection like that is rare but it’s what true and real human interactions are made of.

But wherever there’s true and deep connection, there’s also the possibility for experiencing loss as we connect to a place within us that tells us the truth of who we are and what we truly want and need.

In order to grow, we need that connection, those realizations and the pain that may accompany it.

These types of losses teach you to let go. However, I’ve only realized I don’t fully know how to do that.

One of the biggest losses this year has been the passing of my beloved nearly 15-year-old cat. Just looking at the photos I wanted to include here turned me into a wreck. It’s hard to understand and come to terms with.

Some things are not meant to be and it doesn’t matter what I do or who I am, some things will never happen or go the way I’d like them to. And this means, I need to learn how to take a step back and let it go.

It’s generally really hard for me because I don’t like to quit. I’m a problem-solver and it’s difficult for me to accept that there are certain problems that I can’t solve.

So. In the year of 2018, I shall learn how to let go. How? I have absolutely no idea.

But I recently came across this little piece of writing that perfectly summarizes how I hope to grow in 2018:

“I no longer force things.
What flows, flows.
What crashes, crashes.
I only have space and energy for the things that are meant for me.”

But now, a summary of 2017 for Studio Metsä:

Highlights of the Year

YLE PERJANTAI – Interview // Only in Finnish

ME NAISET-magazine photoshoot with five women
(Also in Finnish)

Click below for the full article.

KD Magazine Interview
(In Finnish)

Click below for the full article.

• Started my studies to become a certified Life Coach (Graduation in April 2018)
• Realized men struggle with the same insecurities as women do and have started the process of expanding my services to include men as well
• Photographed a man!
• Created and held an amazing workshop in Copenhagen, Denmark with the incredible Danish Line Bram, a sexologist and Love Coach
• Travelled to Brussels for an amazing photoshoot
• Held my first Instagram Live which went so incredibly well, I felt so blessed and grateful!
• Created a video series about insecurities that begins airing January 2018
• Expanded the newsletter into twice monthly
• Was interviewed by Aino-Kuutamo Uusitorppa for her new book Valtavan ihana
• Created free wallpapers for your phone (“I am enough”, “I am beautiful”, “I am inspiring”
• Photographed only in Finland for the 2018 Wall Calendar
• Went full-on with video, making videos for clients and some even for social media!
• Embraced the rapper/hiphop artist that’s been hiding inside of me
• Held my first-ever Instagram contest
• And probably much more that I can’t think of right now

So, to all of you who have been a part of Studio Metsä’s journey this year, I THANK YOU.

From the bottom of my heart I say, thank you.

You have been a crucial part of the growth and development of this business.

What I hope and wish for you for 2018 is experiences, adventures and people that test your boundaries, push you a bit further than you’re comfortable going, show you exactly how magnificent you are, and how incredible life is.

I wish you a year full of love.

True and real love.

With love and hugs,
Erika

Don’t dream your life, live your dream

I have a question for you: What would your life look like if you had no fear?

Someone once asked me that and I haven’t been able to forget about it ever since. It’s that powerful.

And I’d highly encourage you to take a moment to take that question in and really think about it.
What would your life look like if you had no fear?

What would you be doing?
What kind of person would you be?
Where would you live?
Where would you work?
What kind of person would you be married to?
What type of a lifestyle would you have?
What clothes would you wear?
Grab a pen and some paper and write down the answers.

Allow yourself to dream. Let your mind wander and be free. Forget about what’s “realistic” and write down your wildest dreams.

Do that now.

Go ahead…

(I’ll be here. Waiting. No rush.)

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

How did that feel? What did you write? How does that life look like? How do you look like?

We’re never too old to dream. And we’re never too adult to believe in those dreams.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought wow, I wish I had her/his life? I wish I were like her/him? What’s the next thought that comes to your head preventing you from believing it’s possible for you too?

We’re not born this way. Most of the things in us and our lives at the moment are learned. We learn to behave in a certain way, to think in a certain way, we even learn to believe in a certain way. Some people learn more beneficial thought and behaviour patterns than others, but we all have the power (and freedom!) to change them as adults.

If there’s something you really want in your life, you can have it. You just have to figure out what’s stopping you.

Hit reply and ponder about it in an email to me!

Happy dreaming and remember… “Don’t (just) dream your life, LIVE your dream!”

With so much love and hugs,
Erika

The Love of a Mother

The mothers I know and have photographed all share one thing: worry.

Worry that

• they’re not doing a good job
• they’re not able to give their child what they need
• they’re not perfect
• they’re not enough.

That’s mother’s love. This worry comes from the depth of a mother’s love.

I don’t have children myself, but every mother, mine included, tells me it’s love like they’ve never experienced before. It’s something inexplicable.

When you feel such strong love, when you know you’d do anything for this child, when the child is your world… how can there be anything bigger? How can anything else possibly be better?

MOTHER – THE MOST IMPORTANT

Mothers: I’m proud of all of you. It’s not an easy job, yet you do it, and make it look easy. You’re doing the most important job in the world: raising the next generation. Be proud. Be happy. Encourage and support yourself (and other mothers).

Give yourself time to grow and develop, to relax and restore. You deserve it.

While being a mother is the most important job, it’s also important to remember that underneath it all, there’s still you.

It’s okay to spend time by yourself. It’s okay to pamper yourself. It’s okay to focus on yourself every now and again. Because when you recharge your batteries, you have so much more to give to your child(ren) and others close to you. It’s a gift you give to others when you take care of yourself.

So don’t be shy. Don’t be too modest.

You deserve pampering.

You deserve relaxation.

You deserve you-time.

Take it. And enjoy it.

Happy Mother’s Day!

You make this world a better place. Thank you.

With so much love and appreciation,
Erika

Seven truths to challenge yourself with

In honour of it being May 4th today, I decided to bring on the wisdom of Yoda. If you’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies, I’d highly recommend watching at least the first trilogy. And if for nothing else, watch them for the wisdom.

I was never interested in these films until a couple of years ago I was practically forced to watch them. After the first film, I was sold.

So without further ado, here are a couple of reasons, from Yoda himself, why you should watch Star Wars:

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Luke: I can’t believe it.
Yoda: That is why you fail.

You must unlearn what you have learned.

Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.

Do or do not. There is no try.

You will find only what you bring in.

Named must your fear be before banish it you can.

Are you convinced yet?!

If not, I hope that at least some of Yoda’s wisdom hit home to you. After all, they’re universal truths about life and I hope they will inspire you.

May the 4th (ie. Force…) be with you!

Until next time lovely,
With hugs,
Erika

Ever feel like you’re failing at life?

DISCLAIMER: This blog post is a result of the questions that arose for myself and my life after having watched an amazing interview (which I’ve linked at the end of the post). 

—

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re failing at life?

Knowing the food you consume isn’t really good for you, but you do it anyway, because well, it’s too desirable not to?

Knowing that sitting by the computer or tv or any other device for longer periods than you’re on your two feet is really bad for you but you do it anyway because well, what else are you supposed to do?

Knowing that you really need more sleep and in appropriate times but that you’re always willing to compromise on it first hand?

Or,

wondering how you got to where you are now when all you want is to be elsewhere?

Dreaming of all the things you want yet not lifting a finger to achieve them?

Moping around in your home not knowing which way to go, walking aimlessly only to return back to the couch or bed or whatever cushioned surface you have available in your house?

When did we become like this, I ask?

I see my life flash in front of my eyes and I’m not even dying.

What have I done? What have I accomplished? Where am I going? Am I going anywhere?

Why, but WHY, do I put myself through this hot mess when I know I could fix it?

Why are we so conditioned to behave like robots, just resting on waves, floating, not fighting?

Even though we are in constant fight or flight mode, we do neither, we only live through the constant distress. WHY?

How did our cultural and societal expectations of life become so passive and unsatisfying, not to mention, down-right deadly?

But the most important question is, how can we reverse all of this damage?

How can we change the course of our lives and realise that we have control, that we can change, that we can actually, really, really, really, in all honesty, CHANGE OUR LIVES?

Our bodies are mechanisms, living beings that we treat poorly every single day and then we blame and punish them for acting out, for showing symptoms of poor treatment. And we stuff our bodies with more bull-crap because we’re conditioned to believe they are the solution.

Truth is, it’s not until we rise up to the challenge, take responsibility, stop the self-pity and START DOING that we will be healed.

—

This entire blog post is a result of having watched a truly life-altering interview of a Holistic Psychiatrist Kelly Brogan.

I’ll add the interview here so you’ll get a chance to challenge yourself as well.

It starts now.

Are you ready?

https://youtu.be/-U4Hprs8QPs

Until next time lovely, let’s believe in ourselves, trust ourselves, give ourselves love and care, and trust ourselves, deep down we know what’s best for us.

With much love and many hugs,
Erika

Why beauty ideals suck. Hard.

Today I wanted to talk to you about beauty ideals and to start things off, I’ll tell you a little story:

One summer when I was 14, I was spending time with a friend of mine who lived in another town.

She was friends with a girl that both of us thought was really beautiful and we’d always admired her.

One day when she was surrounded by a group of people, we looked at her and wondered what it would feel like to be beautiful.

It was the type of genuine curiosity that would have shown anyone nearby how little we thought of ourselves.

We, just like Päivi, simply believed we were not in her category. Nor would we ever be.

It just wasn’t in the cards for us.

The absurdity of beauty ideals

Now, let’s stop and take a second to think about this.

What’s wrong with this type of thinking?

EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

Why?

Because

1. our value isn’t dependant on our appearance
2. beauty is not just one type
3. if we aren’t all beautiful, what are we?
4. true beauty comes from the inside
5. external factors do not equal happiness.

There is a common misconception that someone we think is beautiful (and may I remind you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder) would have it all – confidence, health, love and happiness.

A friend in Canada put it aptly when he said that a gorgeous person has simply “won the genetic lottery”. But so what? If they don’t have the personality to match, what good is their gorgeousness?

It’s an inside job

Who we are, how we are and how we feel, starts from the inside.

We may try to find confidence, love and happiness from external sources but on that road we will always fall short. If we rely on external sources for validation, permission, acceptance, we will never find peace or happiness because we aren’t in control of it.

External validation can’t and won’t last. It exhausts the people around us, it exhausts our relationships and it will never build us a sustainable life. We will always feel empty and lacking.

And WE ARE! when we expect others to tell us our worth.

The only person we can rely on to do that, to validate us, to believe in us, to build us up when we fall, is ourself.

Only we are in control of what we think, say and do. We aren’t able to control others, nor should we. When we take responsibility for ourselves and for our own happiness, we have a chance at building a healthy life for ourselves and for those around us.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” -Gandhi

To give you some perspective, I’ve attached below a great talk by a model about the realities around our beauty industries.

And remember, you choose if you tell yourself you’re beautiful or ugly. And you choose whether you believe it or not.

Be gentle and loving with yourself and you’re well on your way to making this world a better place.

Until next time lovely,
xoxo Erika

Chatterbox getting away with murder

A couple of weeks back I spoke with YLE Perjantai (A Finnish Broadcasting company’s Friday show) about my business, the concept and challenges that many women face. One of them was the chatterbox which some of you may be familiar with. It’s that on-going chatter in your head that speaks to you in all circumstances, most of which is not very encouraging, some of it downright degrading and mean.

My chatterbox used to be really mean. It was hard to listen to it even though it had become my “trusted” companion.

As a teenager I used to stand in front of the mirror and point out all the things I hated about myself. They always included my acne-filled face, small breasts, stretch marks, bowlegs, ugly toes, the works!

It was self-pity at its best – the chatterbox getting away with murder.

What made all of this mean chatterbox-ing even more problematic was the fact that most of the things I disliked about myself were things I had no control over. Or if I did (ie. plastic surgery), I wouldn’t. So I was putting myself down for things I could do nothing about.

I kept hearing this chatterbox for many years to come, in different times and in different volumes. The chatterbox was also very chatty in moments when I screwed up, but instead of going after my physical appearance, it attacked me internally: “oh I’m so dumb! How could I have been so stupid!?”.

Saying Adios! to the chatterbox

It wasn’t until the summer of 2009 when I was living in Canada that I started to finally get rid of it.

Of course I’m no ice queen with zero insecurities and I don’t think there’s a person in the world who doesn’t battle with some type of insecurity. The difference to before is that I no longer feed it nor do I allow myself to stay in the state of self-pity. If I screw up, I feel bad, but instead of telling myself I’m stupid, I think about what I could do differently next time.

I still have bowlegs, small breasts and I’m still not entirely infatuated with my toes, my skin is still prone to acne, BUT, I no longer hate these parts of myself nor do I call myself ugly names. The only other way I could have fixed these things were with plastic surgery or Photoshop.

I found neither appealing.

I couldn’t keep fighting against who and what I am for the rest of my life. If I’ll always stay discontent with myself, and my life, I’ll miss all the things in life that bring joy and I can no longer cultivate more.

Aiming for impossible perfection takes out strength, joy and experiences in life

A healthy approach to taking care of oneself brings with it happiness and peace. We all know the basics: eating, sleeping, exercise and water intake. They’re talked of a lot, we all know about them, however it’s far too easy to forget about them. It’s easier, and perhaps more appealing, to find new and more exciting (and passive) ways of creating happiness. But whatever it is that we want, we have to work for them.

At the end of the day, there are many things in life that we can change but also those that we can do nothing about. So, I wanted to add this beautiful serenity prayer that we can all remember in our own way when our minds take control of us:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

If there’s anything you’ll take with you from this blog post, take this: you can, you’re able, capable, you’ve got choices and they’re up to you. It’s not whether you fall but whether you rise. Children don’t start walking perfectly when they take their first step, but have you ever met a child that gives up altogether?

Until next time lovelies, with many hugs,
Erika

Straight-up and honest stuff coming at ya!

My business relies heavily on honest and open communication between my client and I. Trust needs to be built or other wise I cannot help her.

I ask deeply personal questions in order to provide my client with a platform to talk about her fears and insecurities in. That conversation builds a bond between us, so you might say that it’s absolutely crucial to be able to create an atmosphere of trust.

But how does it get created?

Trust develops when we know something about the other person, when we open up and share our innermost thoughts and feelings. Correct?

The problem is, I have realized:

I’m actually not that open!

When I have one-on-one conversations with people, I open up and people know they can trust me.

But if I don’t do the same online, how can I expect you to develop enough trust in me that you feel comfortable enough to contact me at all?

So that’s what I’m here starting today. I’m challenging myself to bare those raw and vulnerable sides of myself in order to show you that yes, I, too, have insecurities and fears.

And I’m going to start today by analyzing why it might be that I don’t have the guts to be more open online.

Why is that?

The most obvious reason must be the fear of rejection and ridicule.

“Oh, but what will they think of me?”
“What if I make a complete a** of my self?”
“Why would people care about what I have to say?”
“What if I appear too self-centered?”

And what lies underneath that fear? Insecurity.

Insecurity about not being good enough, smart enough, funny enough etc. Just not enough. And I know exactly where this comes from. It comes from the time I was bullied in elementary school by a frenemy (on good days my “best friend”, on bad days my worst enemy). She used to tell me “but why would anyone want you, when they could have me?”.

Even though I’ve worked hard to build my self-esteem from the ground up, remnants of words spoken and feelings felt exist. And I think they’ll always be there, because as human beings we’ll always experience fear and insecurity, no matter how secure we are on most days. What matters is what we do with them.

Which is why today I’m saying hello to this raw and vulnerable blog series and waving goodbye to the power of fear! Because whatever comes my way, I’ll handle it! (As said by the amazing fear expert Dr. Susan Jeffers)

So how about we do this together, huh?? If any of this resonates with you, I’d like to challenge you: start showing up, start showing your tender sides and start doing it with pride. What’s your stumbling block? What are you afraid to show people? Comment below! Or better yet, write a blog post about it and link it in the comments below! I’d love to have a read and support you on your journey.

Sending you so much love and warm hugs,
Erika

*photos from my exchange semester in the Netherlands, 2011

Heart and Soul Present: Meditation and Negative Feelings

Lately I have been semi-absent in the Studio Metsä social media world and I apologize for that.

In addition to photographs, Studio Metsä also makes websites and the final deadlines of a few websites have kept me busy in the last week or two. On top of that I was hit by a massive wave of depression this week and after wallowing in it for a few days, I finally picked myself up today and decided “no more!”. These kinds of things are not often talked of in public, especially as business owners, maybe because we think it will somehow harm our reputation. But if you are a human being (which I assume you are since you are reading this blog post ;)) you are not immune to negative feelings so why shouldn’t we talk about them?

After all:

It is not about the negative feelings, it is all about how you handle them.

A big factor in me slipping down that slippery slope was the fact that I had started to neglect my very sacred morning routine of reading and meditating. Whenever I have started my day by reading something new or inspiring about business and/or self-improvement followed by even just 5-10 minutes of meditation, my day has been laid with a strong foundation to stand on and my mind has been clear and focused to take on the tasks of the day.

These few days have been a great reminder to never neglect it again.

So in honour of meditation, I wanted to talk about another form of meditation I take part in.

Photography.

(Shocked?! ;P)

Never having been much of a self-portrait photographer, I first took upon myself to find myself and my emotions in self-portraiture (this is not to be confused with the ever-growing world of selfies) back in 2011 when I was on exchange in the Netherlands. Self-portraiture is actually harder than it seems as you have to try to imagine what the photograph is going to look like without actually being able to see through the viewfinder (although with the advances of technology, this seems to be lost now too as a friend of mine demonstrated just earlier this week with her new Canon 6D: you can connect it to your phone via WiFi and use your phone as the viewfinder and shutter release). In the old-school world of self-portraiture, it is a string of trial-and-errors and in its repetitive form, extremely meditative.

The following photographs are from the autumn/winter of 2014. They were shot in pitch black darkness with some light from my cell phone. This is how they were in camera, they haven’t been cropped or edited much. The only exception is the very first photo which I used as a trial for a tad darker, colder blue and some sharpening of edges. Other wise the photos are exactly as they were shot.

PHOTOGRAPHIC MEDITATION

Thank you for reading!

I would love to hear about your routines and your own form of meditation! Please connect with me by using the comment section below 🙂

Until next time lovelies,
xoxo Erika