Straight-up and honest stuff coming at ya!

Piilossa peilin takana

My business relies heavily on honest and open communication between my client and I. Trust needs to be built or other wise I cannot help her.

I ask deeply personal questions in order to provide my client with a platform to talk about her fears and insecurities in. That conversation builds a bond between us, so you might say that it’s absolutely crucial to be able to create an atmosphere of trust.

But how does it get created?

Trust develops when we know something about the other person, when we open up and share our innermost thoughts and feelings. Correct?

The problem is, I have realized:

I’m actually not that open!

So scared!

When I have one-on-one conversations with people, I open up and people know they can trust me.

But if I don’t do the same online, how can I expect you to develop enough trust in me that you feel comfortable enough to contact me at all?

So that’s what I’m here starting today. I’m challenging myself to bare those raw and vulnerable sides of myself in order to show you that yes, I, too, have insecurities and fears.

And I’m going to start today by analyzing why it might be that I don’t have the guts to be more open online.

Why is that?

The most obvious reason must be the fear of rejection and ridicule.

“Oh, but what will they think of me?”
“What if I make a complete a** of my self?”
“Why would people care about what I have to say?”
“What if I appear too self-centered?”

And what lies underneath that fear? Insecurity.

Insecurity about not being good enough, smart enough, funny enough etc. Just not enough. And I know exactly where this comes from. It comes from the time I was bullied in elementary school by a frenemy (on good days my “best friend”, on bad days my worst enemy). She used to tell me “but why would anyone want you, when they could have me?”.

Even though I’ve worked hard to build my self-esteem from the ground up, remnants of words spoken and feelings felt exist. And I think they’ll always be there, because as human beings we’ll always experience fear and insecurity, no matter how secure we are on most days. What matters is what we do with them.

Which is why today I’m saying hello to this raw and vulnerable blog series and waving goodbye to the power of fear! Because whatever comes my way, I’ll handle it! (As said by the amazing fear expert Dr. Susan Jeffers)

So how about we do this together, huh?? If any of this resonates with you, I’d like to challenge you: start showing up, start showing your tender sides and start doing it with pride. What’s your stumbling block? What are you afraid to show people? Comment below! Or better yet, write a blog post about it and link it in the comments below! I’d love to have a read and support you on your journey.

Sending you so much love and warm hugs,

*photos from my exchange semester in the Netherlands, 2011

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