ADVENT CALENDAR: Day 14 / You are the Queen

Dear You,

I know that for many this time of year is beyond stressful. Perhaps it’s for you too. So I decided to write you a letter.

Often times the things we hear in our heads when we are stressed out are many “I need to” or “I should”-sentences. They’re all things we’ve somehow accumulated and learned over the years as these absolutes that just should or need to get done.

Such as buying presents. To everyone. Including your son’s kindergarden teacher’s pet.

Or perhaps the house absolutely needs a full head-to-toe clean up. 

Or the Christmas dinner this year needs to be better than last year’s.

However the stress looks like to you, it’s often a rat race where we just follow protocol without even knowing why we do it. It’s just something you do.

When was the last time you actually allowed yourself to stop?
Stop doing?
Stop obsessing?
Stop running around?

There’s no one else putting pressure on you but yourself. You are the queen of your life, lady. Yes. YOU are. You get to choose. I don’t care how many demanding mother-in-laws (or mothers! *gasp*) or husbands or children or friends or pets or dust bunnies you have around. I don’t care. They’re not you. 

We’re all in charge of and responsible for our own lives and well-being.

“It’s your road and yours alone. Others may walk it with you but NO ONE CAN WALK IT FOR YOU.”


Meaning, if you fall down, it’s your body that gets bruised or worse yet, broken. Not the person who’s walking next to you.

It’s not anyone else’s heart, mind or body that gets stressed out but yours. It’s not anyone else who loses sleep but you. 

So tell me: is it worth it?
Really, is it worth it?

Change starts the moment you decide to change. The moment you say “I’ve had enough”. Change starts when you put yourself first, when you remind yourself that you are not a prisoner of your life. You are the QUEEN. The goddamn QUEEN. 

That means: you have a choice.

If you feel anxious about not doing everything you’re used to doing, come up with something else to do, like playing board games with your family. Plan activities that actually mean something, that build connection, that make you feel gratitude, that remind you why it’s so much more important to stop than to keep pushing.

Christmas will come. And it will go, whether you stress out or not. In fact, all things will come and go with or without your stress.

If it’s too big of a leap to stop entirely, take moments of your day to pause. To breathe. That’s right. Something as simple as focusing on your breathing will relax your body. Magical, isn’t it? At our full disposal every single moment. 

So I hope you’ll spend the next 10 days in a lot less of a stressful state. I’ve made a few other advent calendar gifts relating to relaxation, so check those out if you’d like a guided, short relaxation:

And some other feel-good pep-talks:

I wish you a nice and relaxed Christmas time filled with deep connections, love and laughter.

With love,

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